Too Cold for Words
by inkdragon13
Summary: The Autobots accidentally get snowed inside their new Alaskan base and now have to wait out a snowstorm. Trapped inside a single room with nothing but each other, they quickly find out that the cold can make you do some weird things...
1. Frostbite

**This was inspired by Youtuber emgo316's videos, EmGo Bloopers: Too Cold for Words and EmGo Bloopers: Lip You. I do not own Transformers prime, nor do I own the videos I mentioned earlier.**

**This is post 'Darkest Hour' for Transformers Prime.  
**

**Told from Bumblebee's POV.**

**Put on your boots and let's go!  
**

Too Cold for Words

"Why is our new base in northern Alaska?" Arcee asked irritably as she looked around.

"Because it's all we've got!" Ratchet snapped, just as irritated.

I just looked back and forth between the two of them, feeling a bit tired. After the old base was destroyed and after we got Optimus back, Agent Fowler showed us this old research facility that may as well been a warehouse. Raf, Jack and Miko had been staying in a hotel some thirty, forty miles from here with Ms. Darby. This is the closest spot to the kids that could hold all of us bots for an extended period of time.

We all kinda had issues with the new base. But the main one was that there was only one room in the whole warehouse (I'm not even gonna count that tiny makeshift restroom Ratchet made in the corner). So we all had to sleep in the same room. I didn't really have a problem with that since I had to share a room with a couple other younglings in the youth center back on Cybertron, but I know for sure Ratchet and Arcee had an issue with it. Bulkhead seemed to be cool with it, Smokescreen was just looking uncharacteristically cheerful and Optimus looked he didn't care one way or the other if you stared hard enough. I know Boss Bot's tired (he had one graze with death too many), but he probably doesn't want to fall into recharge in front of us. I don't have an issue with him going to sleep, but apparently he does.

Optimus's optics were heavily lidded and he looked he was having a hard time keeping his optics focused properly as he stood beside me. He normally has that sharp, alert look in his eyes. I refocused my optics, sending our leader a concerned look. Okay, now I'm starting to get worried. He seriously looks like he's going to fall over and take a nap on the floor. The way he's looking, I wouldn't put it past him to do it.

"_Optimus?"_ Boss Bot's helm lifted a little, implying that he was nodding off. He does a pretty good job at hiding how tired he sounds, though.

"Bumblebee?" He acknowledged. I looked at him for a moment, cocking my helm slightly to the side before saying anything, carefully considering him.

"_You should get some recharge."_

Optimus gave a rare, microscopic smile. "I appreciate your concern, but I will be fine for the time being."

I squinted at him for a second and shrugged. For once, I didn't believe him.

"Homey, huh?" Smokescreen said sarcastically, looking out one of the warehouse's thick windows. There was a pretty bad snowstorm going and it was piling up fast. You could really only see about six or seven feet in front of you, which is bad for an Autobot.

"Smokescreen, get away from the windows," Arcee ordered, arms crossed over her chest. Smokescreen turned back towards us.

"Yes, Mother." Arcee rolled her optics at the response.

"So, what are we gonna do now?" Smokey asked. Ratchet just turned to Optimus and pressed a servo on his arm, encouraging Optimus to sit down in the floor. Ratchet crouched down and began scanning Optimus for any signs of progress in his health. After Wheeljack somehow managed to get Optimus out of that rubble and back to us, we saw just how beat up Optimus really was. He took one Pit of a hit for us, staying behind like that. Gave Ratchet a spark attack.

Thankfully, Optimus is a fast healer. According to Ratchet, he was doing really well for a bot to narrowly escape a situation like that. Ratchet carefully scanned Optimus's arm, making sure he didn't miss anything.

"Seeing how bad the storm is outside, the only thing we can do is sit here and wait it out."

…

"Primus, it's cold in here." Bulkhead complained while he sat on the floor. Smokescreen looked at him sarcastically, his armor rattling from the frigid air.

"You think?!"

There was enough snow outside to get even Optimus's truck mode stuck and the only way out of the warehouse was through vehicle mode. Ratchet's ambulance was durable enough for rough weather, but not this rough. And if Optimus and Ratchet can't get out, I know Bulkhead, Arcee, Smokey and I can't. All of us were seated on the floor in a circle looking around at each other, trying to find something to do. Normally when it's cold and you've got nothing to do, you complain.

"Yeah, I _think_ it's cold in here, Smokescreen. I _think_ it's cold in here." Bulkhead replied, glancing at Smokescreen. Ratchet looked up, an annoyed look on his face.

"Will you two stop it?" Ratchet snapped.

Smokescreen shrugged. "What else can we do, Doc? We're trapped in a room with nothing to do but bother each other."

"Well, I would advise you don't bother the rest of us, unless you want to wait out the storm outside with it."

"Sure, sure." Smokey waved him off, only succeeding in making Ratchet mad.

"Smokescreen, I will rip- I will lip you- psssht, hah hah hah…" I gave Ratchet a funny look while he just sat there, laughing at himself.

I shook my head._ "Derp."_

"Wow, Ratchet." Arcee said, giving him a sideways look. Smokescreen just played along with it, waving his servos around in false fear.

"Oh no, you're gonna lip me limb from limb and smack me with my own lips and I'll be like 'Yeah, lip-smacking good beatings'."

"Shut it." Ratchet muttered, hearing Smokescreen trail off into laughter.

"Primus you guys its just- ugh, are thos-… Man, I can't get words together anymore!" Bulkhead laughed. Smokey's doorwings perked up. What's on his mind now?

"I know what the problem is!"

Arcee arched an optic ridge at him. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah! It's too cold for words!"

I decided to join in on the fun. "It's too cold for words, too cold for _words_! Too cold, too cold, too cold."

"What does the cold have anything to do with y-your speech pattern?" Arcee brought her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Smokescreen pointed at her enthusiastically.

"See? You're doing it, too! I told it's too cold for words!"

Optimus had an amused look on his face as he sat next to Ratchet, looking back and forth between us. He hadn't said anything yet, but he seems to be just fine on the sidelines.

"Too cold for words!" Bulkhead exclaimed, a smile on his faceplates.

"Yeah!" Smokey and I said in unison, laughing.

"Too cold for words!"

"Yeah!"

"You three had better stop before I weld you to the ceiling!" Ratchet snapped, pulling out his frame welder from the medic backpack to prove it. I pouted and muttered.

_"Killjoy." _Optimus placed a huge black servo on Ratchet's shoulder at my statement, a tiny smile on his faceplates.

"Ratchet, be nice."

That only earned a scoff from the older bot. "'Nice' isn't a word in my vocabulary."

Smokey, Bulkhead and I continued our little chanting for a few more seconds until it died back down into silence. We all kind of just sat there, looking at each and listening to the howling wind outside. The snowstorm was showing no signs of letting up and it was getting dark outside. But even over the wind you could still hear the rattling of armor. I'm starting to lose the feeling in my doorwings. Smokescreen finally broke the silence.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to sleep." With that, the white and blue mech laid down, his back to the circle. "See you guys in the morning."

"…Why is our new base in northern Alaska again?" Arcee asked after we all stared at Smokey for a moment. Ratchet just stared at her like he was going to throw a wrench at her. Arcee returned the look, as if to say 'You do that, you die'. I made optic contact with Optimus and shook my helm. Optimus looked pretty amused by our cold induced antics. At least Optimus seemed to cheer up a little. I refocused my optics and flapped my left doorwing to get some energon flowing back into it. This was only our first day in our new base. If today went like this…

What's tomorrow gonna be like?

**...I just had to do that. The plot bunny made me do it! This fic is dedicated to all the snow my city is not getting. It's December and there's _no snow_! There is something wrong with that picture! T_T**

** I'm considering continuing this... Should I?**

**You should really watch those blooper vids I mentioned earlier. They are hilarious!**

**Drop a review and let me know what you think! :D**


	2. Campfire

**Yay, another chapter! The bots are still stuck in the cold, and have to deal with each other. **

**I don't own Transformers, Hasbro does.**

**Hey, put down the ice ball and enjoy the show.**

"Smokescreen, what in the world are you doing?" Arcee asked, arching an optic ridge at the mech lying on the floor. It was the next morning and the storm was still going strong. We'll be stuck in here for quite a while if it keeps going like this. And it's still freezing in here.

Arcee and I stood over Smokescreen as he lay sprawled out on the floor. He was just standing there and the next second Smokey was lying on the ground with the most pitiful look on his face.

"Smokescreen, what are you doing?" Arcee asked again, getting irritated. Smokey just reached towards her from the ground desperately.

"Help! I've fallen and I don't wanna get up!"

I had to laugh at that. Smokey's been watching too many commercials. I went over to him and nudged him with my pede. _"Smokey, get up."_

He just arched an optic ridge at me. "Did you not hear me? I don't wanna get up!" Arcee just shook her helm and walked away. I looked back at Smokescreen and crouched down next to him.

"_How can you just lay there? The floor is freezing."_

Smokey just shrugged. "You get used to it after a while." I heard Ratchet scoff from behind me. I turned halfway to look at him, refocusing my optics.

"I find it hard to believe that anyone can get used to this cold."

Optimus spoke up from his seat on the floor next to Ratchet. "On certain days of the vorn in Iacon, it became this cold." I nodded, agreeing with him. Iacon was on Cybertron's North Pole. I heard it was pretty uncommon for it to get cold like this, but I'm sure Iacon had its moments. Optimus must be doing a little better than the rest of us are.

"...Dude, I can see my exhales." Smokescreen commented, still on the floor. Ratchet stared at him.

"When did you figure _that_ one out?" Ratchet asked sarcastically. Smokey shrugged again.

"I'm just stating the obvious."

"The annoyingly obvious." Ratchet grumbled. It got really quiet again in the warehouse. The wind was still howling outside and the snow just kept getting deeper. We didn't have to worry much about it getting dark since the snow outside made it a little brighter than it really was out there. I moved away from Smokey and leaned against the wall. The cloud cover moved over the building again making it pitch black it the ware house. All you could really see was everyone else's optics.

"You know what I haven't thought about in a while?" Smokescreen said in the dark over the wind from outside. I looked in his general direction.

_"What, Smokey?"_

"_Monsters_." I heard Ratchet scoff.

"The monsters I'm sure you are about to speak of don't exist."

"Says you. Slenderman's _always_ watching."

Ratchet looked like he was going to argue, but probably realized that the argument would get him nowhere and just opted to glare. We quieted down and looked at each other, the boredom already slipping in. Optimus just decided to take a nap, even though it's the middle of the day, and Ratchet pulled some tools out of nowhere and started to clean them compulsively. Bulkhead was just staring out of the window, his chin resting on his servo. I noticed Smokey's right doorwing twitch. I vented and sat down on this icy floor.

Bored again.

"Hey, you wanna play a game?" I asked Smokey.

"Sure, why not?"

...

"Heeead, shoulders, knees and toes. Knees and toes!" I stood and played the little game with Smokey. Raf told me that he often played with his sister Pilar. We had absolutely nothing else better to do. Bulkhead smiled and shook his helm as the two of us made complete fools of ourselves. Both of us pointed to the given body part as we went along. I know we don't have toes, but we can at least stretch our imagination a bit.

Optimus was smiling slightly (he had woken up for a short while) and Ratchet was grumbling how idiotic we looked. The two of us just ignored Ratchet and kept playing our little game, doorwings bouncing in sync.

"Eyes and ears and mouth and... uh ..." Smokey looked at me and I looked back. Bulkhead laughed.

"You two know we don't have noses!"

…

"…Nooobody knooows the troubles I've seen… Nooobody knooows my sooorrooow…"

Smokescreen and I stared wide eyed at Ratchet. I have never heard him sing before and I didn't know what to expect. But I sure didn't see that one coming.

"Oh, Zazu, do lighten up." The two of us turned to look at Arcee. I can't believe she's playing along with that. Smokey looked back at Ratchet, who just stared back.

"You really are hopeless."

…

All of us were bored. Again. The storm had let up, but we were completely snowed in. It was even colder than ever in the warehouse and we all were shivering our plating off. Smokey's denta were chattering. My doorwings were quivering as I looked around the warehouse at my teammates. Everyone just looked plain cold. Well, everyone except Optimus, who had went back to sleep a little while ago. Arcee got this frustrated look on her face and stood up.

"It is too fragging cold in here. I'm going out to get some firewood." Ratchet nodded.

"Please do."

I turned to look at Arcee. _"How are you gonna get out of here? We're snowed in."_

Arcee just stood up and pointed towards the ceiling. I followed where she was pointing and saw the thick glass skylight. It was about forty feet up, but I know 'Cee will have no problem getting up there. Soon she was up on the rafters and pushing at the glass. I watched her as she opened it and a pile of snow fell through into the warehouse.

"Hey, thanks for the warning!" Ratchet growled sarcastically as he shook the snow off his frame. I snickered under my ventilations as Arcee left out through the window. I doubt she'll be gone long since there's a forest not far away.

"Bumblebee, I want to tell you something." Smokey moved around to face me. I looked back at him. Primus only knows what he wants to say.

"If you're gonna pick a vehicle mode to run from the police in, pick a big rig." Bulkhead, Ratchet and I looked at Smokey like he had lost his processor. Optimus was still sleeping, but he somehow looked like he heard what Smokey said. What was doing thinking about running from the police? Did he do anything back on Cybertron? He told me that he was from Praxus, where Prowl's from. Smokey told me that the city was police central. I wouldn't be surprised if he had done anything to get him in trouble with the police.

"Really, Smokey?" Bulkhead said. The white and blue mech nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, if you get cornered by them or stuff's blocking your way, you can just ram it out of the way."

"But big rigs are kinda easy to roll over. It's nearly impossible to make a sharp turn without falling over." Bulkhead said. Smokey reluctantly nodded, agreeing with him.

"_Plus, you're in a lot of trouble if you stab the alt-mode's fuel tank. You risk blowing yourself up." _I added, joining in on the conversation. _"It'll be better to pick a car. Like a muscle car or a sports car."_

"Yeah, you could just weave in and out of traffic." Bulkhead agreed. Suddenly, Smokey's faceplates lit up.

"Or, you can pick an ambulance! Just cut on the lights and sirens and everybody gets outta your way!"

Ratchet shook his helm as we debated on which vehicle mode would be the best for getting away from the cops. "All of you are idiots."

We all turned to him and said in unison, "But we're _your _idiots!"

Ratchet just rolled his optics and said he was taking a nap till Arcee gets back with the firewood. We stared at him as he lay down near Optimus (who was still out cold) and shuttered his optics.

"You know, Optimus sounds like a kitten when he snores," Bulkhead commented. Smokey and I snorted as we sat on the freezing cold floor.

"I can hear every word you are saying." Well, that shut us up. All of us, except Smokey, of course.

"No disrespect, sir, but what are you, a dolphin? Sleep with half your brain awake?" All Optimus did was open one optic as he lay on his side, curled up to take up less floor space.

"Yes, Smokescreen, my processor is capable of resting in such a manner. You can never be too prepared for danger."

Ratchet's head suddenly lifted, looking up. "Arcee is back with the firewood."

...

Blaster fire is a really good fire starter. Wheeljack found that out the hard way. Right now, we all kinda just sat around the fire Arcee started. She had carried in a lot of wood; I'm surprised she was able to carry all of that. From across the fire, I could see Ratchet rub his forehelm.

"I'm too old for this."

"What's else is new?" Smokey responded sarcastically. Before Ratchet could give him permanent CPU damage, I decided to cut in.

"Hey, now that we've got fire, what can we do?" I said, using a long pipe I found to poke at the flames. I watched the fire crackle with vague interest.

"We can sing!" Smokey, of course. Before anyone would say anything about why we should sing, he just started.

"Let's gather 'round the campfire and sing our campfire song. Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song," Smokey sang. Bulkhead, Arcee and I couldn't help but smile at how ridiculous he looked singing that song. Ratchet looked _this_ close to sticking a wrench up something Smokey really won't like, and I think Smokey knows. But he kept singing for some reason. Before long, I found myself singing along with Smokey.

"Uh, Smokescreen, why don't we do something other than singing," Arcee tapped him irritably, making him stop. He got this dramatic pout as Arcee suggested we tell stories. Yeah, that seems like a good idea. Optimus looked interested. Even with the fire going strong, I could still see Ratchet's faceplates lit up and a creepy smile spread across his faceplates.

Suddenly I don't want to hear a story anymore...

"I've got one. It's a human story I had found while wandering on the Internet. I think it will be rather interesting." The rest of us quieted down as Ratchet spoke. I brought my legs up to my chassis and wrapped my arms around them, refocusing my optics as I looked at Ratchet sitting next to Arcee. The blue femme had a sarcastic look on her face, like the story wouldn't affect her. Smokey had the same Arcee did. Bulkhead was all for this; he loved a good story. Ratchet let the fire crackle once more before starting his story.

"There was a young boy – let's call him Johnny – that was asked one day by his mother to get some liver from the store. They needed it for the soup his mother was making for dinner."

"Ugh, humans are disgusting! Eating organs!" Smokescreen muttered and got a sharp elbow in the side from me. Ratchet continued like he didn't hear us, the orange light of the fire casting ominous shadows around us.

"He took the money his mother gave him to pay for the meat and head off for the store. Johnny didn't want to go buy the liver and wanted the money for himself. Between the boy's house and the store was an old cemetery. Johnny saw a fresh corpse in a coffin, ready to be buried. Remembering that he wanted the money for himself, he went and carved out the corpse's liver with the knife he kept in his pocket. "

Optimus got this horrified look on his face as he listened to Ratchet's story. What kind of kid robs a grave for dinner?! Everyone was silent, hanging onto Ratchet's every word. Smokey's usually high doorwings started to lower. Ratchet looked around at us, apparently pleased with the way we looked.

"He brought the liver home and presented it to his mother. She didn't notice that it was large for a normal animal organ and chopped it up for the soup. Soon, Johnny and his mother were enjoying the liver soup, unaware of the danger heading their way.

"Later that night, Johnny was awake watching TV while his mother slept in her room upstairs. Suddenly there was a knocking on the door. It was late and he rarely received visitors. But something told him not to open the door. He had a very bad feeling about the knocking on the door. He tried to ignore the knocking and keep watching TV. Soon, though, he heard a voice from the other room inside the house."

The fire popped eerily and we all forgot about the wind howling outside. Arcee didn't have that sarcastic look on her face. She looked really uneasy as Ratchet got a distant look in his optics and whispered. "_Johnny, Johnny, where's my liver?_"

"Johnny froze, wondering who that was. The voice came again, closer this time. The boy, now frightened, jumped up and ran upstairs into his room. He locked his door and pressed against it as someone took a loud step on the creaky wood of the bottom of the staircase."

The spiderweb-like voice Ratchet did before returned, making me even more nervous. "_Johnny, Johnny, I'm on the first step. Where's my liver?_"

"The boy stayed there leaning against the door, paralyzed as to what to do. And all the while the steps grew louder and louder. The voice grew _closer and closer_.

"_Johnny, Johnny, I'm on the second step. Where's my liver? ...Johnny, Johnny, I'm on the third step. Where's my liver?_"

Ratchet switched back to normal, though is 'normal' had turned creepy. He looked all of us in the optics as he kept telling his story. "The boy jumped into his bed, terrified out of his mind. He didn't know why this strange voice was coming after him. He kept saying 'where's my liver'. Suddenly, Johnny remembered the liver he ate in the soup for dinner."

"_Johnny, Johnny, I'm on the fifth step. Where's my liver? ...Johnny, Johnny, I'm on the last step. __**Where's my liver?"**_

"The boy through the sheets over his head and shivered in fear as he prayed, begging for someone to make the voice go away. Only it didn't. He heard the wood creak outside of his closed door. Then, he heard a knock on his door, paralyzing him."

"_Johnny, Johnny, I'm in front of your door. __**Where's my liver?**_**"**

I was shaking by now. Smokey had the tips of his digits up to his mouth, but he doesn't have any nails to bite. This is getting really creepy. Even Optimus had an uneasy expression on his face as Ratchet told the story.

"Johnny heard the door creak open, even though he had locked it. He shivered and quaked under the sheets of his bed, wishing he had never taken that liver. Now there was no giving it back. He could almost see this strange person through the sheets, their long, slender shadow cast over his frightened form in the bed. He saw a hand raise, hand reaching."

"_Johnny, Johnny, I'm at the foot of your bed. __**Where's my liver?**__"_

"The boy couldn't shut his eyes. He couldn't call for help. He couldn't scream. All he could do was sit as the figure reached slowly, drawing closer and closer, reaching with its long, slender fingers..."

Suddenly there was a knock coming from the outside of the warehouse. I automatically screamed, along with the others, and half crawled half ran away from where the sound came from. Smokescreen scrambled to get away from the sound, since he was sitting closest to it. Bulkhead screamed like a femme and jumped clear over the fire, faster than I ever thought he could move. There was just chaos. Bots were screaming, yelling, onlining weapons, scrambling out of the way, holding onto each other. My doorwings flattened against my back in fear. What in the Pit _was_ that?!

"I told you guys. Slenderman's always watching!" Smokescreen said, voice cracking. He was practically holding onto Ratchet, who had a spooked look on his face. "He's gonna get us ALL!"

"No, he is not." Optimus said. Before he could move to get up and see what it was, the door of the warehouse opened, sending in a cold rush and nearly blowing out the fire.

"Hey, the least you Bots could've done was open the- ...Why is Bumblebee in Prime's arms?" We sighed in relief. It wasn't Slenderman.

"Agent Fowler, it is good to see you once more." Optimus said, still holding me firm. We all just stood there, probably looking like the biggest idiots on the planet. Agent Fowler had on a thick parka with a furry hood over his head. Snow coated his sturdy boots as he stood with his hands in his coat pockets.

"I brought you Bots some raw energon the military had found. We've got no idea how to refine the stuff but we know you do. I can't stay long, but I'll send the crystals in."

...

Ratchet had a very small, but fast acting energon refiner and soon we all sat in front of the fire trying to warm our pedes and energon cubes. I'm surprised Agent Fowler managed to get the raw energon to us, with the storm and all. He said that he would be regularly checking up on us, but couldn't stick around longer than a few minutes. Arcee had tossed more wood in to keep the fire going.

"I wasn't scared!" Smokey glared at Arcee, who just looked back at him sarcastically.

"If that wasn't fear, I don't know what is."

Before this could become an argument, Optimus interrupted by asking Smokey a question.

"Who is Slenderman?"

**Sheesh, bad question to ask, Optimus! Oh well, too late now...**

**Anyway, that story that Ratchet told is one my girl scout leader told us on a camping trip almost a decade ago. It's called 'Johnny, I Want My Liver Back'. She was right at the part where the strange man was knocking on Johnny's bedroom door when someone actually knocked on the cabin door outside! We all screamed like the little girls we were and ran to the other side of the cabin. Thankfully, it was just another girl scout leader and no one lost a liver that night. One of the scariest moments in my childhood. And awesomest. **

**When Smokey was lying on the floor saying he didn't want to get up, I was refering to a parody of the Life Alert commercials a friend of mine did. The song Ratchet was singing was from the _Lion King_ when Zazu was being held hostage in a bone cage my Scar. That song was so hopeless...  
**

**I want to thank all of you who waited for an update and who review the last chapter! :D**

**If you have questions, comments, or ideas, just drop a review! :)**

**Until the next chap, see ya!**

**P.S. I have developed a **_**very**_** unhealthy interest in Slenderman. Hopefully, he's not interested in me. I like living.**


	3. Games and Songs

**I know, I haven't updated in quite some time, but here we are! :)**

**Still in Bee's POV. I don't own the Transformers. I personally believe that they own themselves.**

**Let's get on with the snow day!**

"Who's Slenderman? _Who's Slenderman_?! You don't want to know who Slenderman is." Smokescreen shook his head at Optimus's question. I looked back at Optimus and nodded. The only reason why I know who's Slenderman is because I listened to Smokey talk about him. A lot. I've kinda gotten a little interested in him... okay, maybe a lot.

My fascination in Slenderman has gotten to the point where I am fully prepared to scream after I get out of the washracks late at night if I see _anything_. Ratchet learned that the hard way.

The night is creepier if you know what Slenderman does in the dark.

In my mind, you are a target of Slenderman if you know too much about him. I think I'm on his hit list, and I don't want Optimus on there with me. Optimus already has enough people out to kill him. I kinda want to wake up tomorrow morning and see that Optimus is still here in the warehouse. While we thought about whether or not to tell him about Slenderman, Ratchet glared at the two of us from his spot on the floor next to our leader as Bulkhead and Arcee looked on.

"Just tell Optimus who 'Slenderman' is." Arcee spoke up after tossing a twig into the fire, drawing our attention to her.

"Yeah. If he wants to know, tell him. If won't kill him or you two." Bulkhead said.

_How do you know?_ I thought nervously. Smokey and I exchanged nervous glances and looked back at our leader. I can tell by the way he looked back at us that he knew absolutely nothing about Slenderman. I guess I should have expected him to want to know more. The archivist curiosity didn't just disappear when he became Optimus Prime.

"Well, Slenderman is basically a paranormal entity that is known to badly traumatize, kill, and/or abduct people." Smokey explained, sitting back down in front of the fire, in front of Optimus. I refocused my optics and picked up where Smokey left off.

"_He looks human, only he doesn't. He's got no face, and his arms are a tad bit too long to be human. That's part of what makes him so scary. He has tentacles that he can use to move around faster and catch you. He never lets you see him move. You know when you're a target. You start to see him when you peek over your shoulder in the dark of night. You're time starts to run out when you look back and he seems to get closer to you without moving. He will stalk you, night and day, and drive you to insanity. He chooses when you see him. And if you do see him, you're on his hit list." _

Silence fell after I stopped talking. I think I creeped everyone out.

"I am confident that Slenderman will not be able to take me, given my size." Smokey shook his helm at Optimus's statement.

"No, he won't take you. You're an adult. He'll just kill you."

"Oh, really?" Ratchet arched an optic ridge at both Smokey and I, unimpressed. We nodded.

"_Yeah. Slenderman would kill all of us except me. Then he'd just take me."_

Bulkhead spoke up. "Why would he take you, Bee?"

I looked at him for a moment before answering. _"I'm a kid. Slenderman likes kids." _

I rolled my optics at the snicker I heard from Bulk and flapped a doorwing, trying to get some energon into it. Even with this fire going, you could still feel the biting cold on your back. We had all unconsciously moved, huddling closer together. This reminds me of a group of penguins.

"You know, Slenderman has a few computer games." Smokey said casually as his sat next to Arcee. Optimus still had a curious look on his face. My doorwings lowered. I know where this is going...

"What are the names of these games?" I looked at Optimus, horrified. I started frantically waving around, making slashing motions across my neck with my servo. He does not want to go there! He does NOT want to go there!

Evidently, Smokey and Optimus didn't get the message.

"The one I know of is called Slender: The Eight Pages. I've never played it, but I've heard a lot about it on the Internet. All you really have to do is find these eight sheets of paper posted around the environment the game gives you."

"That seems to be an easy game." Optimus said thoughtfully. _Oh, trust me, it's not_, I thought as I gave up trying to warn him. Smokey conveniently left out the part where you have to avoid Slenderman and that he gets closer to you the more pages you get. I never got past four pages. I looked around and was happy to see that there was no computer monitor in the warehouse.

"Hey, Ratchet, can you- Are you okay over there?" Smokey turned to look at Ratchet, concerned. I groaned loudly (he was actually going through with this game!), but was ignored. The others looked at Ratchet sitting there, getting really fidgety. Actually, he's been a little twitchy the whole time we've been here in the warehouse. But right now you can really see the twitching. He's rubbing that wrench with his rag so hard he's rubbing the shine _off_ the tool! I think he needs something – _anything _– to do.

"No, no I'm not 'okay'."

"Oh, uh... could you please make a projector or a computer monitor or something? I wanna show Optimus som-," Smokey couldn't even finish up his entire statement, Ratchet was up and fishing through a pile of discarded wires and pieces of metal and whatnot in a darker corner.

"I won't be able to do that. There aren't enough parts for a monitor in this warehouse."Ratchet grunted after coming back over and sitting down next to Optimus. Smokescreen visibly pouted while I mentally sighed. Thank Primus for no Slender.

...

"You know what you need?" Optimus looked up at Smokey's question. Arcee shifted slightly in her cross-legged position on the floor and answered sarcastically.

"A good massage and a can of Maccadam's Visco?"

"That would be nice." Optimus smiled slightly, glancing over at Arcee. I remember him saying some time ago that he and Jazz used to go to Maccadam's Old Oil House a lot before the war. I've heard some really good things about the drink from Ironhide and Jazz, but I'm not old enough for it.

After all Optimus has been through, I guess he does deserve a good massage.

"Well, yeah, but I was thinking about something else. You could use a new paintjob." I kinda agree with Smokey. He's been red and blue for as long as I can remember. And after this whole mess with the base being blow up, his paint looks _horrible_. But I know he couldn't care less.

"Really, Smokescreen?" Bulkhead arched an optic ridge at him. Smokey nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah. How long have you been just red and blue?" Optimus paused and appeared to be deep in thought for a moment. If you have think about it for that long, you know it's been a really long time.

"I have had these colors since I was even younger than Bumblebee."

Yep, that was a _really_ long time ago.

"You could change it up a bit. Flames, yeah, red and blue flames." Smokey nodded, approving of the idea.

Now, Optimus is a really nice guy, but the look on his face said 'keep dreaming'.

Although... the flames would make Optimus look really awesome, uh, not that he isn't awesome in just red and blue paint. Maybe we can convince him to change his paintjob. Someday.

...

No one wanted to sleep, and we all were bored again. Seems like being bored has become a pass time. That's... That's just sad.

Just a little while ago Smokey had planned something to do and asked me to help out. I couldn't think of a reason why I should help the guy, so I agreed.

I looked at Smokey and he looked back at me. We nodded once to each other. Ratchet looked between the two of us, somehow knowing we were up to something. I don't know how he knew, considering he was asleep when Smokey asked me for help.

Smokey and I both stood up, getting the attention of the others. Smokescreen just stepped forward and shouted.

"Everybody do the _flop_!" And the two of us fell forward, hitting the ground.

Never in my life will I do that again.

The pain... was _tremendous_. All I could see were little, tiny stars. Little, tiny stars that were laughing at my stupidity. Smokey was moaning in pain along with me. Why did I agree to do something we knew was so stupid? While we were all in pain and on the ice-cold floor, I could hear someone laughing hysterically.

"Ratchet, it's not nice to laugh at them." Optimus said, though he sounded like he wanted to laugh too. I didn't even care that I was getting laughed at, I was so humiliated. I managed to clear my head enough to look up. I could see, right over the fire, Ratchet holding his sides, laughing so hard he was crying.

After seeing that, I just put my head back down on the floor. The bottom of the bucket just fell out, and all my dignity fell to the center of the Earth. Suddenly I heard a sharp shriek of pain. It was Smokey.

"_Ow!_ What did you kick me for, Arcee?!" I heard my fellow doorwinged friend yell.

"That was for being stupid."

...

"...Where did Optimus go?" Smokey asked as he sat on the cold floor. He recovered pretty fast from the faceplant and the kick from Arcee, though his side is sore from the blow from Arcee. I gave him an incredulous look. There is no way Optimus could have left the warehouse without the rest of us finding out about it; there was too much snow outside and the door would make too much noise.

"_Where do you think?"_ He glared at my sarcastic response.

"I wouldn't be asking if I had a clue where he was."

"_He's-," _But before I could finish, there was a _loud_ shout. We all whipped our helms around to see what had happened.

Ratchet was holding his pede, which had a HUGE dent in it, and was hissing in pain. Optimus stood there a few steps in front of Ratchet's makeshift bathroom with his own pede slightly up in the air, and had a sheepish look on his faceplates.

"Oops."

Smokescreen pointed and laughed. "Hah hah! Ratchet got his foot stepped on!"

Just then, Ratchet looked up at Optimus and glared hotly at him. The look on his face... If Ratchet could shoot lasers out of his eyes, he'd make Optimus's head explode. "You are dead. You passed away a long time ago and you are somehow still upright."

This time everyone, aside from Ratchet and Optimus, laughed at what the older mech said. Ratchet doesn't even try, and he can be just hilarious sometimes!

I glanced over at Smokescreen._ "So does that answer your question?"_ He smiled and nodded.

"Yep. He was answering nature's call!"

...

Three or four hours had passed, and it was starting to get close to sunset. The storm was long gone, but there was probably still too much snow out to really do anything. Everyone was already asleep, besides Smokey, Arcee and I. Optimus was sitting up while he slept, which was kinda weird, since he normally laid down before he went into recharge. Ratchet was sleeping beside him, sitting up like he was.

Ratchet was snoring away, leaning into Optimus, his helm resting on our leader's side. It almost looked cute the way they both were, especially with Optimus and his cute little kitten snore...

"Caaan you feeeel the looove toniiight?" Smokey dramatically, yet quietly sang. I was almost shocked to hear him sing that about Optimus and Ratchet and playfully shoved him. Though I have to admit, it was kinda funny.

"_Smokey!"_ He looked at me and shrugged.

"What? I couldn't help it!"

...

"He's a magical pony that's soaring through the sky on a magical journey..." Smokey happily sang, swaying to the beat in front of the fire. I looked at him like he had lost his mind. After thinking about the past day, I figured that he lost it the instant we got snowed in. And what's with the flying pony? _Where_ does he get these random songs from?

Before I could ask him that, Optimus gave Smokey a serious look while he was singing. Uh oh, he only gets that serious look when he's about to give someone a stern talking-to. But I don't really see why, considering the only thing Smokey's doing is singing some weird song.

"Shoot it down."

The only thing Smokey could do was gap at him. I did the same. How could he shoot down a magical pony?

"Smokescreen, you have something on your face." Both of us looked over at Ratchet, who was currently sitting next the Smokey. Before he could ask what was on his face, Ratchet grinned and punched him in the face.

"It was _pain_!"

I laughed out loud at what Ratchet said. The older mech looked like he wanted to punch Smokey for a while. Ratch' just finds Smokey generally annoying. Well, he got his shot.

My friend who just got punched let go of his face and looked at both Optimus and Ratchet with a sad look in his optics. "Come on, guys! Why'd you have to tag team me like that?"

"You've been plain annoying the whole time we've been trapped in this warehouse." Ratchet answered. I know Optimus wouldn't have said it that way, but I know he agreed with Ratchet. Smokey sagged a little bit after Ratch' responded.

"Yeah, I guess I deserved that." All of the sudden, his face lit up and he looked around mischievously at the rest of us. "Hey, you guys want to play a game?"

Bulkhead shrugged. "Sure. We've got nothing else better to do."

"It depends on what game you have in mind, Smokescreen." Arcee said, shifting slightly as she tossed a thick piece of wood into the fire that had started to die down. She had a point. Smokey might have us doing something ridiculous. I don't know about the rest of them, but I think being convinced to fall on my face is enough.

Smokey broke out in a huge smile, and had I been human, I would have broken out into a sweat. I don't like that sort of smile. "Truth or Dare."

From the way Optimus looked over the fire at Smokey, I could tell he really didn't have a clue what the game was. Neither did Ratchet and Arcee. However, Bulkhead and I have heard Miko talking about it and want _nothing_ to do with the game.

But I think we're in too deep to get out now.

**Smokey's doing a lot of singing...**

**I want to thank all of you who waited for this update. The inspiration escaped me until recently.**

**Visco is a real Cybertronian drink that was served at various bars back on the home planet, including Maccadam's Old Oil House. Jazz and Orion Pax used to go there and have a drink. I discovered this while reading Transformers Exodus by Alex Irvine. Good book, by the way. **

**I was inspired by Bill Cosby's stand-up comedy and by the YouTube series, asdf Movies. I recommend you check both of them out. **

**Alright, so the next chapter will consist mostly of Truth or Dare rounds. This is your chance to get a secret from or get to dare one of the Autobots! :) Keep the rating in mind, though. **

**Till next time! :D**


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